An Open Letter To My Pops on Father’s Day

June 15, 2014
Hello Dad,
First off, please know I am purposefully typing, rather than handwriting, this Father’s Day card for two reasons: First, I can think better when I type and, second, you probably could not read my handwriting anyway…it has gotten far worse over the years.
So happy Father’s Day! I know that you said that the real acknowledgement should go to currently “working dads” and I get that sentiment for sure as I doubt you are coming out of retirement anytime soon and I am somewhat in the fathering thick of it. That being said, you are and always will be my father so it is not your present fathering that I am celebrating -rather it is your past fathering.
Thank you for all you have done for me over the years. As a current dad of grown children myself, I have newfound love and respect for your years actively parenting me. I am not looking at it through rose-colored glasses because I am quite aware of the imperfections of my growing up, yet I am also aware of the perfections as well. You have always been there when I needed you and for that I am forever grateful.
I suppose the primary thing I am most grateful for is that you, David Stephen Urbanovich, changed the trajectory of your entire life from the way it could have gone. I have heard nothing but horror stories about your father and you could have easily followed suit growing up in such dysfunction. You could have followed your abusive fatherly role model but you did not. You chose your own path and your own way. You proved that one does have a say in this life and can make good choices in bad circumstances. Because of you and having you as my role model, I committed my life to my kids just as you did.  From a young age it was you that made me always want to be a dad. Like you, I am not and was never a perfect parent as I have made many mistakes…but I was and am a committed parent because I saw what committed fatherhood looked like with you as my guide.  I may not be, or have been, the best dad -but it was never due to lack of effort.
Growing up, I saw and experienced what committed fatherhood looked like.  Thank you.
I am sure as you lay in your bed these days watching western after western when the Lakers are not on, I must believe you are doing some reflecting as well. So, as you rest and reflect it is important that you know my sentiment and feeling toward you. Unlike your philosophy of Father’s Day, I look forward to this day each year to acknowledge you and let you know how much I love you.  You are truly like a Father version of a cat, because you have at least 9 lives. I am blessed I can still trudge my Boston Cream Pie over each Father’s Day and know you are partaking and enjoying as you hurdle each death defying experience.
I love you dad. Enjoy the pie and I look forward to providing many more in the years to come.



    • Thank you for the comment Monique. I love these type of stories. Family curses are quite real and it takes amazing courage and tenacity to break them. Thank you for contributing to the blog.

  1. I really liked your post that was an father’s day card but an email. I relate to in this way but this would of been an email to my mom. My real father abandoned us when I was 1 years old. My mother had to raise me herself and it was hard because I was her first born and she did not know how to be a parent. She had a hard life growing up even when I was growing up, but we are still here Praise be to God, because who knows where we would have been. Thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks for sharing Jessica…but heap some of that praise on your momma…she deserves it. One of my favorite facebook status updates was from my friend Judith who, on Father’s Day, posted “Happy Father’s Day Mom.” You are just one of millions who were blessed to have a committed and present momma. Some men can be disgusting dicks…and I can say that cause I am one! (a man…not a disgusting dick…though I guess you can be the judge of that!)

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